Uncle Jerry Part Il (Is Adam Sandler a Good Thing?)

 

Friday night I taught my sister Lisa how to make Paprika Chicken and Dumplings. For those who do not know, it's a very popular Hungarian dish that is not very easy to make. Well that is if its made the right way Lisa said the last time she had Paprika Chicken was when Grandma (the Hungarian) made it, so that was a hard act to follow, especially the dumplings. The sauce that is made for this recipe is to be neither to thick or too thin, so you have to pay attention. And I think she did! (Yes my sister! paid attention to something I taught her!)
And it was my best batch ever...even the kids liked it.

Saturday Lisa and I spent time in her front yard cleaning the planter out and pulling weeds. This was my idea because one, I dont think of gardening as work anymore, and two; It gave us a chance to talk, rather than go somewhere like the movies or an amusement park where there's too much going on to have any real conversation.How grown up of me huh?! We worked all day long in the yard and got it looking so nice. Her home is very pretty. Its not that old but is a reproduction of a Victorian style home, painted a light blue with a white trim. And when we were finished she found a bird house from her attic and painted it the same colors as the house. Its cute.

We went to Walmart about 3 dozen times while I was there, and I have to say that the most interesting thingI saw there were the Polygamists wives all shopping together. I asked my sister,

"Did they just get finish performing in a play or something?"

She chuckled and told me who they were. That knocked me on my ass! There were about 5 of them wearing longsleevedfloor length dresses. Their shoes were like those old pointed boots that laced all the way up to the knee (well, I am assuming that the boots went up to their knees because the dress of course covered their ankels). Their hair was long and braided, and in the front, their bangs were sort of a swoop-hoop-de loop thingy. Ugh. (If you saw them that would have made perfect sence) Each of them all looked like they had a touch of Down Syndrome, and definately looked under 18 years of age. Lisa told me that the wives refer to the other wives as 'sisters'. I said,

"Refer to them as sisters? They probably are sisters"

Then what happened next sent me into a panic. Billy and Shane both asked me to go play Basketball with them at the school. Oh no! No no no! My image of Super Uncle was about to be shattered!

I looked at Billy and said to him,

"Okay, this is one of the disadvantages of having a fruit for an Uncle. There are sooooo many things I will be good for, like making sure you're the studliest looking guy at prom, letting you in on what girls really like etc...But when it comes to sports, I just plain suck."

He and Shane both giggled a bit. I dont know if it was just because I was so open about it or if it was because they took the slang "suck" out of text or whatever, but within the same breath whined,

"So what?! We dont care! Puh-leeeeze? Will you go with us?!"

How could I not go? And so I did. I mean, I know how to dribble a ball but thats the extent ofit. I just never played sports! And living in LA its not important to be athletic, you only have to look athletic.

So we get to the school and Shane says,

"Okay its Uncle Jerry and me against Billy"

That sounded totally fair to me. So the boys start doing all their moves and moving all over the place and I casually walked up to Billy with my chest out and said calmly

"Gimme the ball Billy"

They both snickered. I raised my voice a bit,

"I said Gimme the BALL Billy!"

He laughed and tried to go around me. I BOOMED,

"GIMME THE GOD DAMN BALL BILLY!!!"

I caught him and got the ball away from him and walked up to the hoop holding the ball up above my head so that he couldnt reach it, and carefully placed it in the hoop and screamed in my most butchest of butch voices (and I must say I can do it quite well)

"HE SHOOTS!! HE SCORES!!! YES!

They were rolling with laughter (whew!). This went on for about 45 minutes along with me passing the ball to Shane and picking Billy up and off to the side of the courtso that Shane could score. Holy Shit! I am soooo out of shape! They wore me OUT! But I saved my face (double whew!).

Later, when we got back I heard Billy on the phone telling his friends that his Uncle Jerry cracked him up and they all had to meet me, and that it was just like having Adam Sandler for an uncle.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. I'll assume its not a bad thing.

Anyway, I was sad leaving them and I wish that we all lived closer. I love them a lot.